Consequences of Sin

 So it's gonna be the hardest way. It's not like I don't deserve it. Great. I don't care if I have to harden my heart and hit the black wall again. Although I tried to wander through paths of light, we all have darkness within. And I find myself exactly at the payment for my sins. That's what you get when you let the poison run through your veins. I put myself in that. I'll find a way out. 

 Now, that we're already talking about darkness. Let me say it loud. "Right now I see what I really am: a thief, a whore and a liar." ♫ Like I said, that's how everything got here. How things' came to this point by the grandeur it strained for. Of course, the fault is my own. And all mine. It's not like I'm blaming myself. I knew all the consequences and where I was walking on. However, the line was crossed. Steps of doom. I knew and still went there. 

 I left this go too far. It's been several years from the beginning. I could curse that day, call it the day I met the evil. The day the seed was planted. No, the curse itself's been already there long before. And when it comes to that bloody lust, I can remember it since, as a baby, I gained consciousness and memories. Oh, I remember the first time I got tempted. How the prey was so attractive, so appealing. Twenty years has passed. Two decades of perdition. A lifetime for so much suffering. 

 I left this go too far. Now I gotta stop it, otherwise it will kill me. Stop the lies. But believe me, none would choose such sub-life. I don't know why I'm condemned. Bounded by chains of desire. A prison for my mind.

 The addictive poison. Amusing pleasure. All those victims in your head. You cannot stop. Like an uncontrolled frenzy as long as you drink. As deep as you sink. All an Illusion. And when you finally feel satisfied, when your thirst is supplied. All that remains is the emptiness within. 'Cause it's also a lie, a momentary delight. 

 I became my worst enemy. You don't mind how it feels like fighting against yourself. Everyday this burden coexisting inside you. Never goes away. When you try so hard to resist. "It's a slow fade, when you give yourself away; It's a slow fade, when black and white are turned to gray. All thoughts invade; choices are made. A price will be paid when you give yourself away. People never crumble in a day. It's a slow fade," ♫ You don't know what is like.